The story begins with a quotation from Sigmund Freud's Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis, emphasizing the idea that no one can truly keep a secret. The first-person narrator, later revealed as Theo Faber, a 42-year-old forensic psychotherapist in London, shares the details of the day Alicia murdered Gabriel. The event has intrigued Theo for years. On August 25th, six years prior, Alicia, who was 33 at the time, killed Gabriel, a 44-year-old photographer. Gabriel had returned home late from a Vogue photo shoot in London's Shoreditch neighborhood. Shortly after his arrival, gunshots were heard by a neighbor named Barbie Hellmann, who promptly contacted the police.
Upon investigation, the police discovered Gabriel's body in a chair, bound with wire around his wrists and ankles. He had been shot five times in the face. Alicia was found standing in the room with self-inflicted deep cuts on both her wrists. She was taken to the hospital, where she survived, but she never spoke again. The only form of communication she provided was a self-portrait created after her discharge from the hospital. In the bottom corner of the canvas, she signed it as "ALCESTIS."
Theo explains that "Alcestis" refers to a Greek mythological character and describes her story as a tragic tale of self-sacrifice and love. Theo contemplates revealing his identity as the narrator but decides against it, stating that he is not the hero of the story - it belongs to Alicia Berenson. Theo describes Alicia's self-portrait in detail, depicting her in her studio, naked, standing before an easel and canvas with a paintbrush in her hand. The painting includes the visible scars on her wrists, and the paintbrush appears to be dripping red paint or blood. The painting was displayed during Alicia's trial by the gallery manager,
Jean-Felix Martin, drawing a large crowd of people who lined up outside to view it.
During the trial, Alicia remained silent, which the judge interpreted as a sign of guilt. Her defense argued that her history of mental health issues, spanning back to her childhood, should be considered, leading to a plea of "diminished responsibility." Professor Lazarus Diomedes, the clinical director at The Grove, a secure mental health facility in north London, claimed that Alicia's silence indicated profound psychological distress. Consequently, Alicia did not go to prison but was instead sent to The Grove. Six years later, Theonotices a job opening for a forensic psychotherapist position at The Grove and decides to apply.
The narrator finally introduces himself as Theo Faber, a 42-year-old psychotherapist. He explains that he chose this profession because of his own troubled past. Theo grew up in Surrey, outside of London, with his mother and an abusive father, whom he suspects had an undiagnosed personality disorder. Leaving home at 18 for university, he initially felt free but struggled with his mental health due to internalizing his father's abuse. Theo's first semester was marred by a failed suicide attempt, prompting him to seek therapy. Under the guidance of his therapist, Rush, Theo gradually found healing through talk therapy.
Now a fully trained and experienced psychotherapist, Theo desires to work with Alicia, which necessitates joining The Grove. He recounts his interview for a position at The Grove, where he is asked about his motivation to become a psychotherapist. Rather than delving into his personal struggles, he provides a generic response, stating that he wants to help people. Despite his reservations, Theo secures the job after the interview panel, led by Indira Sharma, a current employee of The Grove, finds him suitable.
It is January, and Theo arrives at The Grove, having made a new year's resolution to quit smoking. However, he succumbs to temptation and smokes a cigarette before entering the facility. He finds his behavior
bothersome, recognizing that psychotherapists typically view smoking as an unresolved addiction. To mask the smell, he consumes a mint. At The Grove, Theo meets Yuri, the head psychiatric nurse, who appears friendly and relaxed. Yuri introduces Theo to Stephanie Clarke, the facility manager, who comes across as strict and cautious. Stephanie provides Theo with a personal attack alarm, instructing him to carry it at all times. Yuri mentions that the patients are currently attending a "community meeting," and Theo expresses his interest in joining them.
The next part revolves around Theo's first face-to-face meeting with Alicia. After the previous chapters built anticipation with Alicia's complex backstory and excerpts from her diary, the actual encounter turns out to be disappointing for Theo. He joins a "community meeting" at The Grove where patients and staff, including Lazarus, Indira, and Christian, are present. Theo confesses his dislike for Christian without providing a specific reason. Initially unable to locate Alicia, he eventually spots her across fromhim. Alicia appears heavily medicated and slumped over in her chair, making her nearly invisible to him. The meeting is interrupted when Elif, another patient, enters with a broken pool cue, posing a potential threat. Theo manages to calm Elif down, earning the approval of Lazarus and Indira. During the interaction, Theo notices that Alicia momentarily looks at him, strengthening his determination to become her therapist.
Following the community meeting, Theo visits Lazarus in his office. To Theo's surprise, the office is filled with musical instruments. Lazarus explains that he organizes an informal music group for the patients and staff, recognizing the therapeutic potential of music. Quoting William Congreve, Lazarus emphasizes the soothing qualities of music. During their conversation, Lazarus reveals that The Grove is facing financial difficulties due to the low number of patients and high operating costs. He suggests that Stephanie, the new manager, is the last hope for the facility's survival. Lazarus discloses that individual therapy with Alicia was unsuccessful and hypothesizes that a younger therapist like Theo
might be more relatable to her. He warns Theo about the likelihood of failure but eventually agrees to arrange a meeting between Theo and Alicia.
Theo anxiously awaits his first one-on-one meeting with Alicia, battling his own insecurities influenced by his father's voice in his head. When Alicia arrives, Yuri, the nurse responsible for her one-on-one supervision, plans to remain in the room. However, Theo requests that Yuri leave, assuring him of his access to the attack alarm. Alicia appears as passive as before, with her face seemingly masked by medication. After introducing himself, Theo chooses to remain silent, and they sit together in silence.
After the meeting with Alicia, Theo reviews her file, finding a notable incident involving her attack on Elif a few weeks after her admission to The Grove. Theo decides to inquire about the incident with Elif. He also feels the need to explore Alicia's childhood, noting that her next of kin is her aunt, Lydia Rose, who raised her after her mother's death. Alicia herself survived the car crash that claimed her mother's life. The only other contact listed in her file is her solicitor, Max Berenson. Unable to reach Max, Theo calls Lydia, who responds with hostility and abruptly hangs up. Motivated to understand Alicia better, Theo determines to reexamine the self-portrait she paintedafter the murder, considering it her sole form of communication.
As Theo prepares to leave The Grove for the day, Yuri approaches him, having discovered Theo's pack of cigarettes at the nurse's station. Theo is embarrassed, especially since he tried to conceal the fact that he had smoked earlier. Yuri offers to buy Theo a drink, and they go to a pub. During their conversation, Yuri asks if Theo is married, to which he confirms his marriage to Kathy. Yuri shares that he was previously
married but got divorced after falling in love with a woman he had been stalking. He advises Theo to go home to his wife and leave Alicia alone.
Theo meets Kathy, his wife, at the National Theater Caf?. Kathy, an American actress raised in Manhattan, sits with colleagues from her current production. She recounts the story of how she and Theo met, a tale of double infidelity involving Kathy, Theo, Kathy's former boyfriend Daniel, and Theo's ex-girlfriend Marianne. Despite the complex circumstances, Kathy narrates the story with humor and sweetness, evoking laughter. Theo and Kathy's relationship developed rapidly, with Kathy moving in with Theo by December. They became engaged, and Theo introduced Kathy to his parents, hoping to showcase his happiness and freedom. However, the visit did not go well due to his father's critical behavior and his mother's depression. Despite the challenges, Kathy gained a deeper understanding of Theo's difficult upbringing, and they married in a small registry office without any family present in April.
The next part begins with a quote from Sigmund Freud, emphasizing the idea that unexpressed emotions can resurface in negative ways. It consists of excerpts from Alicia Berenson's diary, spanning from July 16th to 21st. Alicia writes about the heatwave in London, which triggers memories of her mother's death and playing with her cousin Paul as a child. She describes her mother's scent, a mixture of Nivea hand cream, shampoo, cigarettes, and an undertone of vodka, hinting at her potential drinking problem. Alicia recalls the day her mother died, strapping her into the passenger seat of a yellow car before crashing it into a brick wall.
Alicia reflects on her creative block while working on her latest painting, a depiction of Jesus on the cross. She realizes that she has been stuck because she has unintentionally painted Gabriel, herhusband, instead of Jesus. Alicia decides that she needs Gabriel to sit as her model, despite his reservations about the unconventional choice. They spend an afternoon together, but Alicia becomes frustrated when
she struggles to capture the lifelessness in the eyes of the painting.
The focus shifts back to Theo, who approaches Lazarus with a request to reduce Alicia's medication dosage in the hope of awakening her from her stupor. Lazarus directs him to Christian, the head of Alicia's care team, and notes the tension between Theo and Christian. Lazarus agrees to talk to Christian about adjusting Alicia's dosage.
Theo wanders the corridors of The Grove in search of a secluded spot to smoke and encounters Indira. She assumes he is lost and guides him to the nurse's station, referred to as the "goldfish bowl." Here, Theo has his first conversation with Christian since his arrival. During their discussion, Theo learns about Elif's background - she killed her mother and sister by suffocating them in their sleep.
Christian expresses his belief that The Grove is destined to shut down, questioning why Theo would choose to work in a failing institution. He implies that Theo made a mistake by going behind his back to discuss Alicia's medication with Lazarus. Theo is taken aback by Christian's hostility, but it becomes evident that Christian is aware of Theo's actions. Indira, who overhears their conversation, expresses confidence in Theo and believes that Alicia needs someone to care for her. She emphasizes the importance of non-verbal communication in therapy.
A few days after the previous events, Theo has a session with Alicia. They have adjusted her medication, leading to increased alertness. Theo once again asks Yuri to remain outside the room, deviating from protocol. After exchanging greetings and inquiring about Alicia's well-being, Theo initially sits with her in silence. Towards the end of the session, he expresses his intention to help her gain clarity. In response, Alicia unexpectedly lunges at him, knocking him to the ground and attempting to choke him. Theo activates the attack alarm, prompting
four nurses to intervene and remove Alicia from him. Christian sedates her. Theo observes Alicia's behavior, describing her as more like a wild animal or something monstrous than a human being.
Theo has a meeting with Stephanie, Lazarus, Indira, and Christian to discuss the incident involving Alicia'sattack. Theo presents his case for continuing his work with Alicia, emphasizing that her rage serves as a powerful form of communication, conveying underlying pain that she cannot express directly. Stephanie and Christian remain unconvinced by this argument, but Lazarus and Indira support Theo's perspective. Indira suggests that Alicia has begun to communicate through Theo, making him her advocate. Stephanie, however, aims to shut down any further attempts to work with Alicia immediately. Ultimately, Lazarus holds the final decision and grants Theo a period of six weeks to continue his efforts. Christian remains skeptical, asserting that Alicia won't talk within six weeks or even sixty years.
Returning home, Theo finds Kathy absent as she rehearses for a production of Othello. Assuming she will be away for a while, he secretly retrieves a jar of marijuana, revealing that he used to smoke regularly during his university days but stopped when he met Kathy, finding natural happiness in their love. However, he resumed the habit sporadically after taking a puff at a party. While getting high, Theo accidentally bumps Kathy's laptop and discovers explicit emails between her and a stranger, realizing that Kathy is having an affair. The revelation shocks him to the point of vomiting.
During another therapy session with Alicia, who remains silent, Theo initiates a conversation about himself. He questions Alicia about her love for her husband and acknowledges that love encompasses both positive and negative emotions. Theo insists that a part of Alicia must have
harbored hatred towards her husband. Alicia appears to be enraged and abruptly storms out. Theo reflects on his own incompetence in handling the situation, recognizing that Alicia's silence was like a mirror that reflected his own flaws and weaknesses.
Despite feeling disturbed by Kathy's infidelity, Theo has not confronted her about it. When he arrives home after a day at The Grove, he finds Kathy absent and seizes the opportunity to indulge in getting high and drinking wine. He is consumed by inner turmoil, with voices in his head growing louder, asserting his inadequacy and the inevitability of Kathy's betrayal. Realizing that he needs support, Theo decides to visit Ruth, his former therapist.
Theo confides in Ruth about Kathy's affair, contemplating how she must have grown bored in their relationship and found excitement in the secrecy of an extramarital affair. Hecharacterizes Kathy as someone who enjoys deception and the thrill of acting off-stage. Ruth concludes that Kathy's betrayal is profound, suggesting that Theo cannot return to their relationship even if he desired to do so. Theo leaves Ruth's house, determined to return home, confront Kathy, and end their relationship.
After returning from Ruth's place, Theo finds himself unable to confront Kathy about her affair. Unexpectedly, Kathy takes the initiative and confronts him about the marijuana she discovered. Theo admits to smoking and Kathy expresses her frustration, commenting that sometimes she feels like she doesn't know him at all. This mirrors Theo's own thoughts about Kathy. His anger intensifies, and he contemplates confronting her with the knowledge of her affair but finds himself unable to do so. Instead, he cries himself to sleep.
The following day, Theo decides to act as if nothing happened, comparing leaving Kathy to severing a limb, something he is not willing
to do. He disregards Ruth's advice, considering her fallible, and chooses to pretend that he never read the incriminating emails. Theo resolves to stay strong for both his patients and himself.
Returning to The Grove, Theo seeks out Elif to inquire about her past altercation with Alicia. He asks her what she said to Alicia to provoke such a reaction. Elif reveals that she asked Alicia if Gabriel deserved what happened to him, referring to her husband. Disgusted by Elif's question, Theo decides not to pursue the matter further and leaves. Shortly after, he receives a call from Max, whom he had previously contacted for information about Alicia. Max reluctantly agrees to speak with Theo and arranges a meeting at his office for the following evening.
Theo meets Max Berenson in his office as planned. He steers the conversation towards Alicia, and Max shares that he had dinner with Alicia and Gabriel on the night before the murder. Max describes them as appearing normal, although Alicia seemed slightly more anxious than usual. Max confesses that he despised Alicia, highlighting her mood swings, rages, and violent outbursts even before the murder. He discloses that Alicia had attempted suicide following her father's death by overdosing on pills or something similar.
As Theo prepares to leave Max's office, Tanya, Max's assistant and wife, discreetly advises him to speak to Alicia's cousin Paul in Cambridge if he wants to know more aboutAlicia. Tanya begins to mention Alicia and the night after the accident but stops when Max enters the room. Theo notices Tanya's fear of Max and becomes curious about their dynamic. Adding to the mystery, Max hints that if Theo is seeking gossip, he should speak to Jean-Felix Martin, the gallery owner who exhibited Alicia's artwork.
Excerpts from Alicia's diary spanning from July 22nd to 26th. These
entries are more tumultuous compared to previous ones. Alicia writes about an argument she had with Gabriel regarding his possession of a gun, despite her repeated requests for him to get rid of it. She describes Gabriel's aggressive side, which scares her and makes her feel like she's living with a stranger. On another occasion, Max visits for dinner, and Alicia confides in him about a previous incident where he drunkenly kissed and groped her. However, he forcefully advances on her once again, resulting in Alicia biting his tongue. Despite the ordeal, Alicia pretends nothing happened during dinner. The tone of the diary entries reflects fear, and Alicia expresses relief at having written the incidents down, considering it as evidence for her safety.
In the final diary entry, Alicia recounts her birthday celebration where Gabriel prepares a picnic for her. He surprises her by asking if she would have a baby with him, despite previously expressing his disinterest in having children. Alicia, though fearful due to her mother's blood running through her veins, agrees and feels joyous.
Theo makes another phone call to Max, who expresses annoyance. Theo asks about the hospital where Alicia received treatment after her suicide attempt. Max reveals that Gabriel arranged for a private doctor to treat her at home, ensuring the incident remained discreet. Theo also inquires about Alicia's status as the main beneficiary of Gabriel's will. However, Max discloses that he is the primary beneficiary instead. Later that day, Lazarus summons Theo to his office and reprimands him for bothering Max. Lazarus informs Theo that Max complained about his "harassment." Lazarus advises Theo to focus on therapy and cease visiting Alicia's relatives. Theo agrees to follow Lazarus' guidance.
Despite promising Lazarus not to pursue Alicia's relatives, Theo breaks his promise and travels to Cambridge to find Paul, Alicia's cousin, following Tanya's secret tip. He hopes to uncover clues about Alicia's past and theevents that shaped her into a person capable of murder. Arriving at Lydia Rose's home, Paul's mother and Alicia's aunt, who took care of Alicia after Eva's death, Theo notices Aunt Lydia's face at the
window. Suddenly, he is struck on the back of the head and loses consciousness.
When Theo regains consciousness, he finds Paul Rose standing over him, smelling of whiskey. Paul has already checked Theo's ID and discovered that he works at The Grove. Reluctantly, Paul agrees to answer Theo's questions about Alicia. Theo learns that Lydia and Paul moved into the childhood home after Lydia's husband passed away when Paul was eight or nine years old. It was meant to be a temporary arrangement, but then Eva died, so they stayed. Alicia's father, Vernon, died only a few years prior, having hanged himself in the attic, and Paul discovered the body. Paul expresses disbelief in Alicia's guilt, stating that she was not a violent person. Just as Paul and Theo are discussing further, Lydia demands to speak to Theo, interrupting their conversation.
Theo engages in a conversation with Lydia, who appears belligerent and possibly suffering from a mental health disorder, potentially dementia. Theo senses madness in her gaze. Lydia openly expresses her longstanding dislike for Alicia, referring to her as a "little bitch" and claiming that Alicia was ungrateful despite Lydia taking care of her. Alicia even painted an unflattering portrait of Lydia, mocking her. Lydia firmly believes that Alicia should be in prison rather than a mental health institution. Feeling saddened by the encounter, Theo reflects on his own life and realizes that he might have ended up like Paul - an alcoholic under his parents' oppressive rule - if he had not left home. He understands why Alicia left home as soon as she could, given the unpleasantness of growing up with Aunt Lydia.
Returning home, Theo attempts to check Kathy's emails but finds that she has logged out. He acknowledges the irony that Kathy is currently rehearsing the role of Desdemona in Othello while he himself has
become the clich?d jealous husband. He comes up with outlandish theories to explain the incriminating emails, such as Kathy writing in character for the play. However, he realizes that she signed the emails as "Kathy" and not "Desdemona." Theo reflects on their seemingly unchanged relationship on thesurface, but internally, he spirals into thoughts of why Kathy cheated. Externally, he starts taking steps like checking her email and phone whenever possible. When Kathy mentions meeting a friend named Nicole on Thursday night after rehearsal and being home late, Theo grows suspicious. He decides that the only way to find out the truth is to follow her.
Theo visits Alicia's gallery to meet with Jean-Felix, who expresses a dislike for Max and hints at a strained relationship with Gabriel. It appears that Gabriel may have seen Jean-Felix as a rival or felt jealous of his close bond with Alicia. Jean-Felix and Alicia knew each other from art school and had a long history together. When Theo asks how Alicia appeared when Jean-Felix last saw her, just days before the murder, he replies that she didn't give the impression of someone who would shoot her husband in a few days.
Jean-Felix shows Theo four of Alicia's paintings. The first depicts the car crash that claimed Alicia's mother, Eva. The second painting portrays Jesus on the cross, with Gabriel as the subject. The third painting presents Lydia, depicted as morbidly obese and naked on a sagging bed. The fourth painting is Alicia's self-portrait, titled Alcestis. This time, Theo notices a new detail - a bowl of apples with maggots on them. Jean-Felix encourages Theo to read the play Alcestis by Euripides.
Theo inquires about Alicia's father and her subsequent suicide attempt. According to Theo's understanding, Alicia loved her father, Vernon, and was devastated by his death. However, Jean-Felix reveals that Alicia actually hated her father. When asked why Alicia would attempt suicide after Vernon's death, Jean-Felix suggests guilt as a possible motivator. However, Theo suspects that Jean-Felix may be withholding important information.
Following Jean-Felix's suggestion, Theo obtains a copy of Euripides' tragedy, Alcestis. He notices the "deus ex machina" ending, where a seemingly unsolvable problem is abruptly resolved. In this case, Alcestis, the protagonist, is brought back from the dead by Heracles. Theo is particularly struck by Alcestis's inability to speak. In a moment of desperation, Admetus, Alcestis's husband, asks Heracles why his wife is standing there without uttering a word. Theo pondering the same question as Admetus: "Why? Why does she not speak?"
The next part entries from Alicia's diary, spanningfrom August 2-6. In one entry, Paul contacts her and insists on meeting in person. During their meeting, he confesses to having a significant gambling debt and asks Alicia for financial assistance. Alicia reluctantly agrees to write him a check. In another entry, Jean-Felix visits Alicia, and she realizes that their so-called friendship is primarily based on him using her for her art. She feels that he values her paintings more than he values her as a person. Jean-Felix expresses shock and anger when she reveals her plan to change to a new gallery. He manipulates her into agreeing to see a play, Euripides's Alcestis, with him on Friday out of fear.
Theo visits Lazarus and shares his insights about the play Alcestis, seeking guidance on its meaning. Lazarus asks Theo to imagine a situation where the person he loves most condemns him to die due to their own cowardice, emphasizing the sense of betrayal it would evoke. Theo realizes that this would ignite anger in both the character of Alcestis and in Alicia. He concludes that Alicia didn't physically die but was killed spiritually, losing her sense of being alive. Determined to facilitate communication with Alicia, Theo asks Lazarus if he can provide her with painting supplies. Lazarus directs him to discuss this with Alicia's art therapist, Rowena Hart.
Theo approaches Rowena to discuss the idea of giving Alicia her own painting supplies outside of traditional art therapy sessions. He anticipates resistance from Rowena based on Lazarus's warning, but she surprisingly agrees without hesitation. Rowena is relieved to be relieved of Alicia, describing her as unresponsive and uncommunicative.
Theo reveals to Alicia that he visited Jean-Felix at the gallery and viewed some of her paintings, including Alcestis. He shows her his copy of the play and draws a direct parallel between Alicia and the character of Alcestis, asking her why she remains silent. Theo informs her that he has arranged for her to have her own private painting corner and asks if she would like that. Alicia responds with a smile, indicating her approval.
Theo encounters Christian in the canteen, and Christian is aware of Theo's plan to involve Alicia in painting. Christian cautions Theo to be careful, referring to individuals with borderline personality disorder as seductive. He warns that Alicia will turn on Theo. Despite thesewarnings, Theo contacts Jean-Felix at the gallery to inquire about retrieving Alicia's old painting supplies.
After seeing Kathy off to rehearsal, Theo becomes suspicious of her plans to meet her friend Nicole afterward. He believes it to be an excuse for Kathy to rendezvous with her lover. Theo waits outside the theater where Kathy rehearses and decides to follow her. However, to his surprise and disappointment, Nicole shows up instead of Kathy, proving Kathy's honesty.
Barbie Hellmann, a frequent visitor to Alicia and Gabriel's neighbor, arrives at The Grove to visit Alicia, claiming to be a close friend. However, it becomes evident that Barbie primarily talks about herself during her visits. Theo approaches Barbie with the intention of discussing Alicia. Barbie asserts that Alicia confided in her regularly. Theo agrees to meet Barbie at her home later that evening.
Theo meets Barbie at her home, where she reveals an important detail that Alicia shared with her. Alicia had a stalker in the weeks leading up to Gabriel's murder and even took a blurry photograph of the individual. Alicia initially considered informing Gabriel and the police about the situation but later concluded that she was imagining it, leading her to dismiss the matter.
Theo arrives at The Grove to find a chaotic scene. Alicia has stabbed Elif in the eye with a paintbrush. Following the incident, Alicia stands still and calm, her expression resembling the blankness of her painting, Alcestis. This sight instills fear in Theo, as Alicia stares directly at him, and he realizes the depth of her emotional state.
Lazarus holds a meeting in his office with Theo, Stephanie, Indira, and Christian. It is decided that Alicia will be secluded, and her psychotherapy will come to an end. Theo attempts to argue against the decision, but Lazarus asserts that Alicia is not a suitable candidate for psychotherapy and regrets allowing it in the first place.
Theo has a final meeting with Alicia, expressing his apologies for her current seclusion. He acknowledges her fear and admits his own anger at the premature termination of their work together, as well as the perceived lack of effort on Alicia's part. In response, Alicia hands him her diary, clearly indicating her intention for him to read it.
Two quotes, one from Jean-Paul Sartre and the other from William Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale. These quotes set the tone for the remainder of Alicia's diary entries, which cover the period from August 8 to August 25.
Alicia becomes increasingly aware of a man stalking her. Despite sharing her concerns with Gabriel, he suggests that Jean-Felix might be the stalker. However, Alicia is certain that it is someone else. Seeking support, she confides in her neighbor, Barbie, about the situation. In an attempt to address Alicia's fears, Gabriel takes her to see Dr. West, a psychoanalyst. However, Dr. West dismisses her concerns, attributing them to her past paranoid delusions following her father's death. He prescribes an antipsychotic drug, but Alicia decides not to take it secretly, fearing that it might impair her alertness in case of a real threat. She believes she needs to be prepared and on guard.
Alicia's fear intensifies as she starts hiding her diary and confines herself indoors for three consecutive days. The tension builds up until August 24, the night before the murder, when Alicia joins Gabriel, Max, and Max's new girlfriend, Tanya, for dinner. Alicia becomes convinced that Max is the stalker and confronts him. She follows him to the restroom and accuses him of spying on her. Max responds by mockingher, calling her a "crazy bitch," and Alicia slaps him in return. Tanya witnesses the incident and leaves the restaurant in distress. Alicia, however, starts doubting Max's involvement as the stalker but remains unsure of the stalker's true identity.
On August 25, Alicia writes in her diary that the stalker is attempting to enter the house. The diary ends abruptly with the chilling statement, "He's inside the house," leaving the reader in suspense and uncertainty
about what transpires next.
Alice Miller about the aim of therapy. Theo has finished reading Alicia's diary and is now on the same page as the reader, feeling the need to find answers to the lingering questions. One such question revolves around Dr. West, who treated Alicia privately after her father's death and again before Gabriel's death. Theo wonders why Dr. West did not testify at Alicia's trial as he could have been a valuable character witness. With the diary in his pocket, Theo heads to an office at The Grove labeled "DR C WEST," believing he may find some answers there.
Theo confronts Christian, revealing that he knows he is "DR C WEST" based on what he learned from Alicia's diary. Christian admits that Gabriel was an old school friend and approached him to treat Alicia secretly. He provided treatment after Vernon's death and again when Alicia complained of a stalker. Christian accepted cash payments from Gabriel and never reported this income. Theo warns Christian that if he reports the incident with proof from Alicia's diary, Christian will lose his job and license. Theo demands that Christian shares everything he knows about Alicia.
Christian describes Alicia as highly paranoid, delusional, and even psychotic. He dismisses Alicia's claims of a stalker as pure fantasy, citing her history of delusions. In the past, she accused an elderly blind man of spying on her, which led to a scandal and their forced relocation. Christian also downplays Alicia's suicide attempt after Vernon's death, seeing it as more of a cry for attention than a genuine attempt. Theo expresses his intention to see Alicia and seek answers directly.
Theo meets with Alicia and reveals his knowledge about Christian being Dr. West. He explains that the diary has raised questions and inconsistencies that he feels obligated to investigate further. Despite Alicia's silence,Theo interprets it as her agreement. He returns the diary to her before leaving.
Theo shifts back to the subplot of Kathy's affair. He notices that Kathy is becoming careless and more obvious about her secret meetings with her lover. She tells Theo she's going for a walk, and he decides to follow her. He tracks her to a park, where she meets a man and engages in sexual activity with him in a wooded area. Theo hides nearby, listening to Kathy's moans as she has sex with her lover.
Returning to the present-day, Theo confronts Jean-Felix with information he discovered from Alicia's diary. He informs Jean-Felix that Alicia was planning to leave his gallery. Theo also calls Max to inform him about the journal, hinting at the possibility of romantic feelings Max had for Alicia. However, Max hangs up before Theo can elaborate. Theo then contacts Paul, who agrees to meet him at a pub in Cambridge. Theo intends to ask Paul about the night after Eva's accident, as suggested by Tanya.
Theo meets Paul and confronts him with the newfound information from Alicia's diary. Paul had previously claimed that the last time he saw Alicia was at Vernon's funeral, but Theo now knows this to be a lie. He reveals that Paul and Alicia had met a few weeks before Gabriel's murder when Paul sought Alicia's help with his gambling debts. Theo brings up Tanya's advice to ask about the night after Eva's accident. Paul considers
it might help Theo understand Alicia and agrees to show him. He invites Theo to Lydia's house.
Paul takes Theo to the rooftop of Lydia's house, a place where he and Alicia used to hide as children. He recounts the events of the night after Eva's accident. As they sat on the rooftop, they witnessed Vernon having a breakdown. Alicia, around 10 years old at the time, looked at Paul and said, "He killed me. Dad just - killed me." Vernon had expressed his anguish, questioning why Alicia didn't die instead of Eva. Theo is stunned by this revelation, recognizing it as the missing piece of the puzzle he had been searching for. He believes this traumatic event played a significant role in leading Alicia to eventually kill Gabriel.
Returning to The Grove, Theo confronts Aliciawith the information he obtained from Paul. He tells her that her father's words were akin to psychic murder, that he killed her. Alicia responds with a murderous gaze, indicating that Theo struck a nerve. Theo explains that this is their last chance to communicate as he is not supposed to be meeting with her, and if Lazarus finds out, Theo may be fired. Alicia finally speaks and asks what Theo wants from her. Overwhelmed with emotion, Theo tells her that he wants her to keep talking, to speak to him. Alicia agrees, saying "okay."
Theo meets with Lazarus to inform him about Alicia's newfound ability to speak. Lazarus grants him permission to continue working with Alicia and congratulates Theo on his work. Theo experiences a flicker of pride, feeling like a son being congratulated by his father. In their next therapy session, Alicia begins telling her story, starting with the tale of her silence and then recounting the events of the night of Gabriel's death.
Alicia explains to Theo why she stopped talking after the murder. Initially, she tried to speak but couldn't produce any sound, likely due to shock. As time passed and she could physically speak, she felt it was pointless, that it was too late. When asked why she has started speaking now, she credits Theo, stating that she wants him to understand what happened to her on the night of Gabriel's death.
The following day, Alicia begins recounting the events of the night of Gabriel's murder, continuing from where her diary left off in Part 3. She describes the intruder, her stalker, entering the house. He wore a black mask and wielded a knife. Alicia attempted to offer him money, but he declined, stating that he didn't want money. She tried to escape, but he grabbed her and held the knife to her throat. As Alicia recalls these traumatic events, she becomes distressed. Theo offers a break, and Alicia asks for a cigarette. Theo feels embarrassed as she claims she can smell it on him since he tries to hide his smoking habit. The part ends as they agree to pause for a smoke.
Returning to the therapy room, Alicia continues her narrative. When Gabriel arrived home, he found Alicia tied to the chair. The intruder warned Alicia not to scream or else he would shoot Gabriel in the head. The intruder ambushed Gabriel as he entered, striking him on the head with the gun. Gabriel lost consciousness, and the intruder proceeded to bind him to a chair using wire. When Gabriel regained consciousness, the intruder raised the gun and shot him in the head six times without saying a word. Afterward, the intruder dropped the gun on the floor and left.
Theo goes to Lazarus to inform him about Alicia's story. However, Theo
does not believe her account, considering it to be a fabrication to portray her as innocent. One specific detail that raises doubts for Theo is the number of times Alicia claims the intruder shot Gabriel. According to Alicia, the intruder shot Gabriel six times, but the police have always stated that it was five times. Lazarus agrees with Theo's skepticism, describing Alicia's story as "cock and bull." He encourages Theo to challenge Alicia and demand the truth from her.
Theo describes following Kathy as she meets her lover and then continues to follow the man to his home. Filled with rage and a desire to harm him, Theo dissociates his mind from his body, planning to strike the man with a rock from behind. However, he stops when he realizes that the man has a wife who greets him at home. Theo acknowledges that he cannot act on his violent fantasies and resolves to think of a cleverer plan.
The morning after Theo's conversation with Lazarus, he arrives at The Grove prepared to confront Alicia. However, he is informed by Yuri that Alicia is in a coma due to an overdose. Theo rushes to seeher along with Indira, Christian, and Yuri. While in Alicia's presence, Theo notices something that others have overlooked - a pinprick on her wrist. Realizing that she was injected with a large dose of morphine, Theo concludes that her condition is not the result of an overdose but an attempted murder.
Lazarus, who was previously absent, arrives at The Grove. Theo meets with him and Stephanie, and they discuss how Alicia obtained hydrocodone, the presumed cause of her overdose. However, Theo
shares his belief that Alicia's condition was not a suicide attempt but an attempted murder. He reveals that Christian had been privately treating Alicia before she came to The Grove, which could explain his resistance to helping her speak. Lazarus instructs Theo to find Alicia's diary, stating that he will call the police.
Police officers arrive at The Grove, and Chief Inspector Steven Allen listens to Theo's account of the events. The inspector informs Theo that he will need a formal statement from him later. After their conversation, Theo goes to the goldfish bowl area where he witnesses Yuri engaging in a drug deal with Elif, exchanging drugs for cash. Theo chooses not to address the situation at that moment. Yuri then asks Theo for guidance on how to handle Jean-Felix, who has been waiting to see Alicia. Curious about Jean-Felix's presence, Theo goes to the reception area to find him, but Jean-Felix has already left.
Theo exits The Grove and lights a cigarette. A car pulls up, and Max and Tanya are inside. Max is distraught and begins shouting at Theo upon learning about Alicia's condition. It becomes evident that Max cared deeply for Alicia, as he expresses anger and sadness. Max continues to shout, but Theo chooses to walk away in silence.
The narrative briefly shifts back to the subplot of Kathy's affair. Theo describes standing outside Kathy's lover's house, observing the man's wife through the windows. He then dons a black balaclava to conceal his face, takes a knife, and enters the house. The wife spots Theo and becomes paralyzed with fear. Part 4 concludes with Theo's statement that this was the first encounter he had with Alicia Berenson, hinting at the significance of their subsequent relationship.
Quote fromthe Bible, specifically Job 9:20, which speaks to self-condemnation. Part 5 opens with Alicia's last diary entry, dated February 23, written just before she slipped into a coma. In this entry, she reveals the truth about Theo, who was her stalker. Alicia distinctly recognized him during their therapy session when she attacked him. She later intentionally lied about the circumstances of Gabriel's death to test Theo. She sensed his fear and realized that he was scared of what she might reveal, particularly the sound of her voice. Because of his fear, Theo injected her with morphine.
In her final moments of consciousness, Alicia provides the details of Gabriel's murder. Theo confronted the couple about Gabriel's affair and forced him to make a choice: either he dies or Alicia dies. Gabriel, showing his cowardice, chose to save himself and said, "I don't want to die." This essentially sealed Alicia's fate. Theo then labeled Gabriel a coward and raised the gun, making it seem as if he were going to shoot Alicia. She closed her eyes and heard the sound of a gunshot, but Theo had actually fired into the ceiling. He then untied Alicia and left. Mentally broken by Gabriel's betrayal, Alicia picked up the gun and shot him.
Theo and Indira clean out Alicia's room. Theo is unable to find Alicia's hidden diary, but he is unaware of her final entry condemning him, so he does not worry about it. Reflecting on the events that transpired, he admits, "I never thought Alicia would shoot Gabriel." After Alicia lied about the details of Gabriel's murder, which revealed that she knew his true identity, Theo decided to drug her with morphine and frame Christian for the incident.
As Theo is leaving the building, he encounters Julian McMahon from The Trust, who informs him that The Grove is being shut down. Julian offers Theo a senior position at a new psychiatric institute. Theo comments, "It seems I've got everything I wanted. Well, almost." He reveals that he and Kathy moved back to his childhood home in Surrey a year ago. His father has passed away, and his mother is in a care home. Kathy, once vibrant, is now depressed, and their marriage feels empty.
At home, Theo informs Kathy about Alicia's overdose, but Kathy doesn't react. They continue to ignore the affair they had and avoid discussing it.